i tried. i did what I could. i payed with my body and myself. i payed and payed my soul away for that stage where they don't want me. for this world that doesn't love me. for these people that don't want to understand.
why does it feel like i failed, it's the world that failed me, failed us.
God, will you please tell me why you made me transgender?
why couldn't you just make me a man; i'd be a boy playing in the fields, joking with his friends. i wouldn't have to earn it.
why did you give me this girlhood all stained in blood and tears, lost to me in translation and transgression.
the only thing i ever got to be is something i'm not.
please.
if you made me transgender, i am hoping you made me strong enough to survive it. to live it out in truth, in colour, in three, four, five dimensions.
teach me to let go of this world that insists on boxes for people, and meet you there, where none of this matters. be plural, be beautiful, be full of layers and contradictions. let there be a dawn after this that i want to be a part of, that wants me too.